I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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