I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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