i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
