Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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