can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
