do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
