i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Are we still banned from the library?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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