but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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