the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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