I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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