Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
