If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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