physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
