I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
