Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
