I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
