Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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