God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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