sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
