Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
