So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
