You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
