Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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