I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
