i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
