is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
