How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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