so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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