Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Everyone says I win the strip club
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
