SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
