stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
