Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The uberlube is also flammable
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
