Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
