Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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