I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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