it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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