It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
