i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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