You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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