if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Im part way to drunk.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
