I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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