could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
