We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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