shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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