So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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