Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
