ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
