"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
