I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
