She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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