So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
