Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
