as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
