I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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