sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
